So here is the short of it. I am a mommy and have been for 11 years, and I was until recently a wife as well. How do you marry someone, promise forever and then end up filing divorce?
Well sometimes our prince charmings turn into frogs and we have to start all over from ground zero, and unlike those princess' in the fairy tales that we all aspired to be we get the hard reality with no fairy godmother in sight to help!
You see I was a good wife, a good mother, and then some where along the way my better half started down a path of such self destruction that all I could do was pray and hope time would heal what ever pain he was trying to medicate. So that's what I did, I prayed, cried, and prayed some more. But I guess God was really busy for the past two years with all of the other world issues, and I had to figure out what I was going to do to survive the tornado that was in my home.
Now I am must say from the start I was never able to stand up to this Frog Prince. He was charming, promised the world, and really never delivered. But you know ladies I thought that I could change him! STUPID STUPID STUPID! We can't change them , we may beable to get them trained to put the seat down, or take their shoes off when they enter the house, but other than that don't waste your time.
If when you meet him and he cheats, or hits, or verbally anialates you guess what? He will continue to do this. And it was on a drive with my baby sister that I realized I can leave! Was it going to be hard to leave? Totally! I mean come on you don't just up and go when you have no job, four babies, two dogs, and no self esteem. But guess what? I did it!
On a bad night with the Frog Prince, I found myself having to explain to my oldest that her daddy was drinking hard and she needed to stay out of the way. As soon as I heard myself trying to justify his actions to her I knew this was wrong!
I wanted someday to look my girls in the eye and say no matter what you always have a choice in what is going on in your life. But how could I do that if I stayed in a abusive and toxic relationship? How could I look her in the eyes and tell her not to stay with a guy that hurt her, when I wasn't willing to leave a man who had hurt me countless times?
And that was it. I never wanted this life, I wanted a life of love, babies, and romance that made others swoon. So I left. I left on a cold night with my babies, my german shepard, and my baby sis.
I had no idea what I was going to do, but I knew anything had to be better than were I was.
