Well if you have read my blog often I speak about the Frog Prince, and my own lil drama. But often behind the scenes sit my lil munchkins creating more material than I can handle!
You see when you are a single mommy of four there is often more activity in my house than in a small village. They are all intelligent lil ones, and often when grouped with brains, energy, and curiousity there is constant activity! You know how when you take your lil one to a birthday party and there is group of sugared up, bouncing, and screaming monkeys running around? And there is always that mother in the middle of it with a look like she is preparing herself to survive a sale at Macy's? Well thats me!
I will tell you I often have to start my day atleast two hours before the lil chipmunks start a stirrin. Yep that's right I have to plan a sneak attack on them first thing in the morning otherwise there will be full on mutany on the home front. Well this morning was like every other morning. I wake up run on the treadmill (cause it is too freakin cold outside!), get breakfast on, grab a Diet Coke, and race to the shower. But oh no, this was not just my average morning,yup God must have heard me gloating on how ahead I was this morning while making my kids their french toast cause he threw a wrench in the works.
There I am in the shower (the one and only place were I can EVER be alone)and wow and behold two crazed spider monkey's rush in and start into incoherent screaming and arguing, I while I am trying to cover myself with my hands. Ya believe it or not if you are fighting with your sister about who gets to put out the juice glasses and the silverware there is a clause in the Don't come in when Mommy is in the shower contract that allows you entry. (I really really need to get with my lawyer to revise this). So while I am dripping with water and the shampoo is running in my eyes, I am also expected to stop WWII! Talk about multi tasking, seriously Obahma really should get with me I soooooo could help him out with the issues of our country.
So after explaining to my lil cherubs, that they need to get out and let me atleast rinse off. I was met with the complete and utter shocked faces of my darling lil ones who just couldn't understand why I was being sooooo mean! Ya thats what they said! I know I was dumbfounded at this too. I mean seriously how dare I want to finish my shower when the fate of the juice glasses and silverware getting to the table was in question?
This was about the time that the lil spider monkeys multiplied! Yup God said not only will two of your children demand to see you naked but hell lets make it three! I mean at the appearence of the third set of eyes I thought, I should so be charging for this! So this was when super mean mommy voice came out! Yes I have one of those and I use it only when I need to.
I told them all to get out of the bathroom and sit outside the door and wait for me. This was my first mistake. You see when you take three cracked out spider monkey's with unlimited energy and ask them to sit anywhere you are crazy! So while rinsing off I was able to listen to the peaceful sound of arguing children, oh and don't forget the third one decided that yes I could be in the shower with privacy, but he was determined to bang his little fists on the door the whole time chanting "You don't love me!". Oh ya I know you single ladies with no children are sooooooo envious of me! Don't worry you'll get yours!lol
Now after my shower, nothing is more relaxing than walking through the house getting the children taken care of while sporting the towel in hair and on body! Yup I am all class. Now you would think that God would give me a break right? Wrong!
See he thought lets just give her a little more somethin somethin to add to her day! Thats when my daughters dog bolted across the street and she just couldn't possibly go outside in her jammies! I mean the horror! So after surveying the street I figured it was safe and went out in towel's to get the lil freak back. And I swear, the big guy has a sick sense of humor! Cause I got all the way to the dog across the street and nobody was around, but oh psyche! When I turned to go back that was when the landscaping trucks turn in the street! Not just one guy, hell no but three trucks full of guys! Oh and they were sweet enough to stop and watch as I crossed with the stupid dog in my arms, praying that my towel would stay up. But what would make this better? Oh ya its the amazing cat calls one gets when they wear this kinda get up outside! It was when I got to the door and realized that I couldn't get in and had to wait for my kiddos to open it for me, that after this morning I was going to have a fabulous day!
Seriously! After that the rest went great, it truly did. And after the children were in school, and taken care of I treated myself to a triple vanilla frap! Cause God I need more energy to get through the crazy days that you give me!
