How many times have we as girls, teens, and women, been faced with the good, the bad, and the ugly in men. There are those that we are interested in, those that are interested in us, and then there are those that we want but don't think we can have, and those that we allow ourselves to settle for out of doubt of our self worth. How does this happen to us?
How is it that those confident, hopeful, and sweet girls begin to have doubt? As teens we go through the emotions, actions, as well as the commitments that often are the foundations for our future relationships. Is it with our first disappointment or broken heart that we begin to doubt ourselves?
When I reflect on the first crushes, kisses, and breakups of my teen years I realize a common thread in my life. I was always drawn to the bad boys, often hurt by them, and then driven into the arms of another bad boy that I was positive would change his habits for me. But this is were I realize at least for myself my love timeline was the true beginning of my doubt. By the first guy who broke my heart by me finding him cheating at a party with another girl, and then by the feeling that I needed to fill that empty spot in my heart with another bad guy. You see hind sight is twenty-twenty.
If I were to have the opportunity to talk to myself at age 13 I would sit that bubbly, energetic, confident, sweet girl who had dreams of her perfect happy ending down and say one single thing. "Vow to love, honor, cherish, and always always respect how you are before any boy or man" You see I believe that due to the childhood that I had experienced, I was so determined to have the wedding, babies, and life that I never had for myself, that I was willing to lose who I was in order to make it happen.
The result of this has been well plainly stated nothing that I ever dreamed. I ended up with a man who was insecure and unable to love, and a marriage that I was fully committed too with no reciprocated feelings.
So now as a mother of three little girls that I see so much of myself in, I am reminded of the need to make sure that their life's are nothing like the one I have lived. Now don't get me wrong, I am very aware of the blessings that I have received its just I want so much more for them. I want them to obtain all their dreams and have their happy endings that they dream of. Most of all I want them to never doubt themselves. I never want them to believe that they are not worth being treated a certain way by a man just because of what some boy or man does to them. I want them to always know that they have the strength to do anything, and the ability to survive even on their own!
This is why I must lead by example for them. I have to take my own advice so to speak, I have to know in my heart, and mind that I am worth it. I am worth being loved, and adored by the man I am with, and know that I truly deserve it! I need to be willing to jump when love is there and not fear the end just because it is unknown.
